Pocket Monsters TV!
by SpiffyIsAsSpiffyDoes
Summary: What your Pocket Monsters watch inside of their balls.
1. Geeky Mewtwos

Disclaimer:I don't own Pocket Monsters/Pokemon,I don't own anything except for the name PsyKing.Okay!?::lances you:: 

MewtwecTV

The Mewtwo's Technetwork 

::The Auidience claps, as PsyKing,a Mewtwo,is typing away on his Linux computer as his friend (and fellow Mewtwo) Balak watches on:: 

PsyKing:Good evening folks!It's PsyKing..... 

Balak:And Balak! 

PsyKing:Now before I introduce my next project,I'd like to say something about hacking. 

Balak:Go on. 

PsyKing:As you know,I am a privacy advocate.I hate spyware in any form.But if someone is bullying you,being a nosey idiot,or making unfair rules,they don't deserve privacy.That's why I coded a tool for hacking into computers. 

Balak:What is it, PsyKing?And is it legal?If it isn't,expect Kanto's President to take you to Sing-Sing. 

PsyKing:It's a program I made for Linux called PK HACK,and no,it's 100% illegal.But I've got good lawyers.It stops lusers from using it requiring an eyeprint-scan.If you can get by that,prepare for a program that regions would start a war for. 

::PsyKing opens up a program with a layout similar to Ad-Aware,notable exceptions being that it's dark blue,and instead of the Ad-Aware logo,a Mewtwo with a Swiss army knife is there.Under it,a field to place the IP address is there.:: 

PsyKing:Instant power and fun-just add an IP address! 

Balak:Is that button that says,"Find Password" the best part? 

PsyKing:Nope,but it's the link to the best.It bypasses firewalls,guards,everything just to get the password.Windows can't detect the process in the Task Manager. 

Balak:Damn,you think of everything these days. 

PsyKing:Damn straight-once you're in,it then allows you to view, edit, and download their files and folders by treating the HD as an FTP server.You can get a rough draft of your trainer's love letter to a lover,for example,or if he's a jerk,send them a virus the I made that disables anti-virus programs. 

Balak:Woah...... 

PsyKing:For example,I'll hack into the exploitive idiot Kanto President's computer. 

::He types in an IP address,and a virtual desktop pops up.:: 

Balak:Oh yeah! 

PsyKing:A love letter!I'll open it up.::he opens it::Hah!He's planning on making a no-legendary law so she can fight in "peace!"What an idiot! 

::PsyKing deletes it after saving a copy for himself:: 

PsyKing:::opens another text file::Ah!It's his experiences as a Pokemon Trainer!He started out with Bulbasaur,who escaped,so he got a Rattata!He got the badges by bribing Gym Leaders with money.He humiliated members of the Elite 4 to become champion,then got beaten by Gary.Then he went into-::laughs wildly::EXOTIC DANCING!Then he bribed to get to the top of Kanto's goverment.What a hoot! 

::PsyKing saves one for himself and deletes the original:: 

PsyKing:I'll be bribing him to "reveal" it to me...::grin:: 

Balak:Man,that rules!::grabs a floppy titled "PK HACK"::THANK YOU,PSYKING! 

PsyKing:All to give us out rights!See you guys tomorrow! 

::The audience claps as the show goes of air.:: 


	2. Nasty Tastes

Jira Stewart's Cooking Show 

Anouncer: WELCOME TO JIRA STEWART'S COOKING SHOW! 

::Jira Stewart,a Jirachi, walks on stage behind an island in the kitchen:: 

::crickets:: 

Bulbasaur: You should be in jail then, or on trial... 

Jira Stewart: Just because five people have died after eating my food doesn't mean its poisonous! 

::crickets stop chirping:: 

Jira:Now, for my latest way to make butter! 

::Jira takes some animal fat,pours it in a butter mold,puts it in the microwave for 100 seconds,and takes it out.The "butter" is now a greenish-yellow,and very smelly.:: 

::A Houndour walks by:: 

Jira:Tasty radioactive butter!Watch.::throws some of the buttered toast in the Houndour's mouth,He grows an extra ear on his butt.:: 

Bulbasaur:::hides in Togepi's shell:: 

Togepi:Too close!Get away!Get away! 

Jira:It's so good,he wants to hear himself excreting it out!I AM a good chef! 

Crowd:::boos and laughs:: 

Houndour:::looks sad::Aghh.... 

Jira:Oh,don't be sad Houndour.::puts some cookies in the microwave and takes them out,actually looking good::Here. 

Houndour:::tries one::Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.What are these made of? 

Jira:They are made out of cookie dough,chocolate,and the never-fail ingredient of Miltank feces! 

Bulbasaur:::from inside shell::ACK!What is this idiot thinking?I thought I told her not to use inedible objects,no matter how addicting! 

Houndour:::spits most out of his mouth,and poos the rest out::Ah great,I heard myself poo. 

::About 10 other Pokemon dive into Togepi's shell.:: 

Togepi:Well,I can forget privacy now. 

Crowd:EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! 

Jira: I'm glad you liked it!Anyway, let me show you my newest recipe- spicy broiled chicken! 

::Jira takes out a burnt chicken and throws chili peppers on it.A few birds fall to the ground from the smell.:: 

Jira:My special chicken is very spicy,yet very juicy.Just add chili peppers onto it!To keep from falling off,we add some freshly-chewed gum! 

::She takes some gum from her mouth and spreads it on the chili peppers.The birds who fell die from the smell and the shock.:: 

Bulbasaur:::faints:: 

Jira:::puts it in the microwave,and the chicken comes out light purple.::Mm-mm!How yummy! 

Random Pocket Monster:WHY DON'T YOU JUST TRY IT!? 

Jira:::takes a bite::YUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMM!::drags Bulbasaur out of Togepi::Isn't that right,Bulbasaur? 

Bulbasaur:NO! 

10 or so Pokemon:Good luck.... 

Jira:::stuffs it down Bulbasaur's throat:: 

Bulbasaur:::pukes it up after fainting:: 

Jira:He likes it so much,he upchucked some of it to eat on a rainy day! 

Crowd:::everyone faints::AAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK! 

Jira:Now for my best.....HOMEMADE WINE AND CHICKEN SOUP! 

::Jira throws some old grapes,grape juice,and some sewer water in a botte.:: 

Jira:Now,to make it richer!::puts the bottle in the microwave for 10 seconds,then sets it on the table::And here comes the soup! 

::Jira throws a live chicken and some water into a bowl,then microwaves it.The chicken has grown an extra eye on it's head and a foot on it's wing.Jira then places the bowl on the table.:: 

Jira:What a great meal!I cannot wait! 

Chicken:Bolk bok! 

Togepi:::faints:: 

10 or so Pokemon:::crawl out of Togepi,but faint:: 

::Jira sips some wine,drinks the "broth," and swallows the chicken whole.:: 

Bulbasaur:AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!SICK! 

::At MewtwechTV HQ,PsyKing is using PK HACK to look at Jira's computer.He opens up a few files.:: 

PsyKing:Hmm...recipes for her food....everyone likes them,but those who see the studio-only show never eat the stuff again.Hmm....Hmm.......WHAT!?MILTANK POO!?RADIOACTIVE WASTE!?Ugh....that's just wrong.I won't check the rest for fear of insanity. 

::He flies to JiraStewdios.PsyKing goes through the roof,and lands next to Jira.:: 

PsyKing:::grabs Jira's arm::I'm going to sue you for usage of nasty things in your "food."And insider stock trading!Unless you stop. 

Jira:But the consumers love my microwavable gourmet food-how did you know about my stock portfolio!? 

PsyKing:Message boards.You were drunk on your microwaved wine.Stop all of this or get sued for 1 million.And that isn't gourmet food.It's trash.Your recipes on your computer prove it. 

Jira:Not so!They love it,and nobody has died! 

10 or so Pokemon and Bulbasaur:FIGHT!FIGHT!FIGHT! 

PsyKing:::Blows up Jira,throwing her remains in the microwave.Her remains are now a strange shade of grey.::A fitting end for a demented cook.All made possible by hacking software. 

Crowd:::cheers:: 

PsyKing:This studio will now be a studio for MewtwechTV,the Mewtwo division of TechTV!Thank you all for hating Jira enough so you could tolerate my killing her!Thank you and good night! THE END.....for now. 

Moral:Never let a crazy Jirachi make her own line of food.You will faint once you find out what is in them.

Moral 2:Mewtwo Hackers and Jirachi Cooks never get along.

Moral 3:As a rule.don't put more than 3 morals.

Moral 4:But feel free to break that rule.


	3. Lost Berries AKA Monty Python for Pocket...

Monty Python's Flying Circus for Pocket Monsters-The Berry Shop 

Author's note:This is the only chapter which will have a Monty Python tribute. 

::A Blaziken, Leo, walks into a Berry shop.A Meganium is at the desk,obiously a clerk.Leo walks up to the clerk.:: 

Leo:Hi!I want a Berry! 

Clerk:Well,you've come to te right place.Which kind would you like? 

Leo:I want a Enigma Berry. 

Clerk:Sorry,we don't have any. 

Leo:I see.How about a Belue Berry? 

Clerk:Fresh out. 

Leo:Blast:Got a Starf Berry? 

Clerk:Lemme check...::checks::Nope. 

Leo:::Is getting annoyed::I want a Magost berry,then. 

Clerk:Ziclh. 

Leo:Nomel? 

Clerk:Zip. 

Leo:Rabuta? 

Clerk:Zero. 

Leo:Agh....are you sure this is a Berry shop? 

Clerk:Yes it is.It's a Berry shop. 

Leo:Spelon? 

Clerk:Yes-erm,no. 

Leo:HOW ABOUT AN ORAN BERRY THEN!? 

Clerk:Hm...we have one,but it's moldy and rotten. 

Leo:I DON'T ING CARE!GIVE ME THAT STUPID BERRY! 

Clerk:I warn you-you'll die. 

Leo:I CAN BURN IT OUT OF MY SYSTEM! 

Clerk:Even then,it'll taste like one of Jira Stewart's food. 

Leo:I DON'T GIVE A FLYING RATATTA'S ASS ABOUT IT!GIVE ME MY ORAN BERRY! 

Clerk:Okay,okay,sir.No need to yell.Let me bring it out.::rummages through a box:: 

Random Cow:::comes along,eats the berry,and leaves:: 

Clerk:Ah...I have this blue clay..::rolls it into a ball::Perfect.::To Leo::Here it is! 

Leo:THIS IS SOME CRAPPY CLAY!Now I am going to ask you some things. 

Clerk:Ask away. 

Leo:Are you strong against fire? 

Clerk:No. 

Leo:Are you weak against water? 

Clerk:No. 

Leo:Is this a Berry shop? 

Clerk:Yes. 

Leo:Can I see one? 

Clerk:Nope.We haven't restocked since 1999. 

Leo:Bye.::Leo Blaze Kicks the Meganium.He sees some Berries on his neck,so Leo takes them.::What a weirdo. 


End file.
